Hi Everyone! As we close out this first week of a brand new year, here's to hoping you're finding yourselves rested and recovered from all the holiday busy-ness and refreshed and ready to bring on whatever this year has to offer you! For me, I spent this first week of January feeling an assortment of things...And none of them too good. In December, I was feeling excited about the new year...I had all these plans to be motivated; motivated to eat healthy and workout more often (hello, cliche New Year's Resolution!), be a better-loving-more patient-fun mom, an attentive wife, re-focus on the Lord's plans for me rather than my own, be a better friend and keep better in touch with those I had lost touch with, be more financially savvy...Is that too many??? And after a wonderfully refreshing and relaxing holiday season, I awoke to 2012 feeling quite the opposite of how I had intended...Tired, lazy, depressed, impatient, anxious, annoyed and quite on the edge of snapping out on any available and innocent bystander would all be more accurate descriptions...WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH ME??? This is NOT what I had had in mind at all...So, I spent the next few days lying around, letting my house get ridiculously messy, letting my kids watch movies all day and have run of the house, skipping out on meals (but binging on sweets, of course), avoiding phone calls, and basically cutting myself off from God and the world because, heck, I'm an adult and I can if I want to (is that too honest?)...But all the while really hoping this was no indication of how 2012 was going to go for me. So how did I snap out of it? I can't say really...Only that I quit avoiding God and the world...I made a phone call to a friend and not that the conversation had anything to do with what had been going on...but I was having a conversation and that was encouragement alone! I also talked it out with my hubby who prayed over me and voila! I awoke this morning to a renewed attitude, love and patience once again pulsating in my heart toward my children, easy conversation flowing to God, and several things checked off the Morning To-Do List, including but not limited to: laundry, a grocery list made, and bills scheduled and paid for January. AND, last but not least, look at this...A new blog in the works...
Several years ago, I was encouraged to start a blog by my husband, Otto. I needed a hobby and I love to write and so it seemed natural to start blogging. Yeah, it didn't last long...Why? A combination of things really. While the topic was and is still near and dear to my heart (fashion), it required some research on my part. I didn't just want to write about fashion or what clothes were in my closet etc., I wanted to profile fashion icons of the past and present and take inspiration from their style to find similar looks for less that others could incorporate into their wardrobes. I also researched the latest trends and made up reports on what was in for that particular season so that you would have an all-in-one-spot guide of the top items to update your wardrobe with for that season. Not a bad idea...But, all this took time. And time I did not have with two young children and another on the way (or maybe I could have found the time, but hey, I've always been a procrastinator and horrible with time management...my old college friends can attest to this one!) and I just didn't keep up with it (insert my official apologies to those that followed my blog in the past and were really pulling for me. Sorry I let you down.) So what's different this time around...
The first "R"...Restorations.
Last April, my husband and I purchased our first home! After moving five times in six years (yes, you read that correctly and actually this recent move put us at six in six years so we just really outdid ourselves), it was time to put down some roots...and I mean that quite literally as we bought a little farm. I can't say what possessed us to buy a farm, neither one of us being farm-type people (Otto's a city boy and I grew up in a small town. And while growing up in Dillon is rather country, it's still a far cry from farm life)...But, maybe it was the fact that we jumped on the "sustainable life and organic living" bandwagon. We wanted to grow and raise our own food, teach our children exactly where their food comes from, and be all hippie like (something I could totally get into) and we had some friends who were into it at the time as well and that only fueled the fire. We read books and watched documentaries, I started making homemade butter and sprouting my own grains, I bought a canner so I could properly store all this homemade stuff I was going to be growing and making, I started the kids on their own little herb garden, we obsessed over the end of world and how we needed to stockpile food and silver so that when the grid went down we'd really be good and ready unlike all you fools, and and and...AND during this time we started looking for a home to buy. Now, let me break here and say, no, we're not nuts and I hope you don't think so either...although, in retrospect, we may have been a little nuts at the time...but we realize it now so that's good right? And let me also say that there is NOTHING wrong with this type of lifestyle; it's quite good, actually and an amazing way to raise children. But if you're not in it to the fullness of every fiber of your being and prepared to take on the work and the amount of time it takes to run a farm and produce and store your own food...it's a bit crazy, yes. You need to know what you're getting into is all I'm saying; it can't be a trend or phase that you're into for a little bit but then move on from (for example, when you were eight and you had teased bangs and wore a once piece denim jumpsuit with keds you colored on; so cool then...horrid in pictures now, but it didn't really alter your life). Now back to my original thought...In the past when Otto and I talked about our dream home, it would always involve a farmhouse or Victorian-type house with a big wrap around porch (very The Notebook like if you need a visual), old woodwork, and lots of period character and charm...But it would already be restored by someone else and very turn-key. We're not fixer-upper people; we're not handy at all! But when you're in a "sustainable living/The End is coming" frame of mind, you'll do about anything to get your hands on some acreage and some outbuildings way out in the backwoods. So here we are, almost nine months later, living in the middle of nowhere down our own little gravel road with a 45 minute commute to work (for the hubby) and wide open spaces and silence (for me) plus almost 3 acres, 4 barns (3 of which need to come down before they fall over on their own), a pasture that's grown up about 8 feet tall, a garden that was tended to maybe a month out of the summer before we said, "Aw, forget it! We're not outdoorsy people!", a purebred English Shepherd that was born ready to herd all those chickens and goats we don't have, and a little 3 bedroom farmhouse that yes, has a front porch and no, isn't the wrap around kind I had been dreaming about all these years. Do I have your attention yet? Because there's light at the end of the tunnel, I promise! Yes, we may have blew it...big time. We quickly decided to make the biggest purchase of our lives all while moving through the motions of something that wasn't truly a part of who we are and therefore was destined to fail us. But that doesn't have to be the way it ends for us. We don't know what God has in store for us here; whether it was His plan for us to move here or not isn't really the issue anymore, it's more about what can He do with us in the midst of our mistakes or when we didn't wait on Him that's important now. Luckily, He's faithful to do it...While all our ideals fail us, His never do. He turns our ashes to beauty EVERY TIME and so, for us, it's time to look forward at what can be and not what could have been. In the time since we've been here I've had quite a love-hate relationship with our country livin'. The kids adore it...their own playset and all that room to run, finally a dog and cat of their own, and plenty of new adventures just waiting (like "safaris" with dad!). Otto really does enjoy gardening; I think as time goes on he'll fine a knack for it and we might actually produce something worth eating. He also is finding he enjoys the hard work that this lifestyle brings and he's a bit more handy then he thought. For me, I love the peace and quiet, the wide open spaces that provide so many amazing views, the fact that when a bee chases me around the yard in the summer I can scream and dance around like an idiot because there aren't any neighbors to see it, or garden topless because I can (that happened. it was just once alright?), but best of all the endless ideas that come to me about what this place could become for us and others...
Restorations...
~the return of something to its former owner, place, or condition...
~restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit...
To me, those two statements say it all. There is so much I want to "return to its former condition and eternal purpose" here...Our old farmhouse, the land we live on, my marriage, the impact I have on my children, my heart and my soul, my passion for and my relationship with my Savior...Why not here? Why not surrounded by the peace and silence and the beauty of creation? Oh God, restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit!!! I must first be willing...And God is faithful to Restore.
The second "R"...Resolutions.
There truly are an abundance of ideas and hopes and dreams that I have for our little farm in the future, many of which I'll share throughout my future blogs (and who knows? Maybe I'll end up with some chickens and goats and a flourishing garden...and I'll dust off that canner and put it to good use...) For now, I just want to open my heart to the possibilities that 2012 holds for my family and I. That's the reason for this blog, why I think it may work this time. I don't have to research it or feel like it's a part of me I have to "make fit" into my life, this IS my life and all I have to do is write about it. I think, for me, blogging about all this will be therapeutic and also bring fresh perspective. I've always been able to better write how I feel and what I'm wanting to say then to actually say it so this will be natural for me. That's where the resolutions for a new year come back into play. I don't typically make resolutions because I can't ever stick to them but this year I hope to change that. The following are mine (I'll probably think of more as the year progresses), beginning with sticking to this blog! :)
1. Blog openly and honestly about life and it's ups and downs, mom tips, progress on the farm, recipes, work outs and healthy eating, cleaning and organizing, and anything that interests me and I hope interests you. This is more for me than anyone else...I've struggled over the years with my "identity" maybe because I married and had children so young (I think others probably feel this way), but I want to embrace all that God has given me and enjoy the place I'm in now and stop living in the past and what "might have been". I hope to always be candid and honest.
2. Eat healthier and more consciously and consistently work out...Make these things a way of life so my children see it as an example.
3. Keep in touch! There are so many people I miss having a part of my life and I hope to reconnect with them. I am HORRIBLE at keeping in touch with people so this is a big one! :)
4. Just take a deep breath and ENJOY! This really applies to my kids. I find I miss out on special moments because I'm too concerned with orders and schedules and staying on top of things...Hoping to let some of that go and just have fun with them.
5. Hubby time = a priority in our busy lives...More time to share and connect.
6. Live for Him and know Him even deeper...more fellowship with Him and other believers.
7. Stick to a budget!!!
Well, this was longggg, people, so I'm wrapping it up! But I'd love to hear from you all...feedback, topic suggestions, questions, comments, your stories, and RESOLUTIONS for the new year! Hope you're feeling positive and RESTORED as you head into 2012!!!
xoxo,
Mel
No comments:
Post a Comment